


You Have Terrible Taste in Everything

by Japo_Chan23



Series: I Believe in Science, Jan, Not Universal Fuckery [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alana is my queen and I love her but she's only in the beginning rip, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety Disorder, Comedy, Connor is a picky eater so fuck him, Connor lives btw, Connor's a little shit, Drug Use, Drugs, Evan is barely in it, M/M, Oneshot, POV Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), POV Third Person, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, a main part of it lol, and he's like, he just like, i have no clue, i think, still went through but I kept it very brief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 20:19:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14576859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Japo_Chan23/pseuds/Japo_Chan23
Summary: Bitch eats the same thing everyday, and it’s been pissing Connor off like, all the time. He’s in a constant state of tasting peppermint chapstick on his lips, and when it’s not that, it’s like, fast food or something, and it makes him so angry. Like, go out. Eat a freaking steak and drop the McNuggets, please.Being a picky eater was a pain, especially when he hates fast food so freaking much. Like, sure, Connor Murphy was the rebellious teen, but that doesn’t mean he has bad taste in food. He’s a picky eater, of course he wouldn’t want fast food. Hell, a majority of the time he just makes himself food.Which was why if he had to taste brown sugar oatmeal one more goddamn time, he was actually going to stab someone.





	You Have Terrible Taste in Everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CreatorAnimator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreatorAnimator/gifts).



> Soulmate au where you taste everything your soulmate eats.
> 
> I was going to write a soulmate au for Marvel (and I'm still going to), but this is for my absolutely wonderful and v beautiful friend Creatoranimator. Love her to death, she deserves like, everything fr. 
> 
>  
> 
> [I was listening to my playlist "Oh God" while writing this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaEK18WhhU4&index=0&list=PLYG85jqr9jkSKKdChQ30vkuqlcbm4oquW)  
> .

Bitch eats the same thing everyday, and it’s been pissing Connor off like, all the time. He’s in a constant state of tasting peppermint chapstick on his lips, and when it’s not that, it’s like, fast food or something, and it makes him so angry. Like, go out. Eat a freaking steak and drop the McNuggets, please.

Being a picky eater was a pain, especially when he hates fast food  _ so freaking much _ . Like, sure, Connor Murphy was the rebellious teen, but that doesn’t mean he has bad taste in food. He’s a picky eater, of course he wouldn’t want fast food. Hell, a majority of the time he just makes himself food.

Which was why if he had to taste brown sugar oatmeal one more goddamn time, he was  _ actually _ going to stab someone. 

“Okay, look, I get that like, some people are picky, but I at least don’t eat the same thing every fucking day!” Connor shouted, making random hand gestures. He scowled, rubbing at his eyes. “Like, okay, apples are  _ great _ , but stop eating the same thing everyday, and it’s not even  _ good _ , it’s always  _ cheap _ , and just ugh.”

“How do you think your soulmate feels, then?” Alana questioned, not looking up from her worksheet. Connor and her sat next to each other in their AP Lang class, and while Connor was already done with it, she still had a couple questions to finish. 

Blinking, he opened and closed his mouth. “What do you mean?” Connor asked, the corners of his lips twitching downwards.

Huffing, the woman placed her mechanical pencil down before adjusting her glasses as she looked up at the other brunette. “Really? Connor, you smoke weed and cigarettes. Nicotine is  _ not _ a good taste, despite what all the songs say. It smells and tastes disgusting, at least have a little sympathy for them, considering the fact they have to deal with that. So yeah, sure, they have poor taste in  _ food _ , but I don’t think you have a right to say anything.” Alana crossed her arms, and raised a delicate brow, as if daring the man to even defend himself on the matter.

Blushing, Connor grumbled a quick “yeah okay whatever I hate you”, he picked his book back up, ignoring the very obvious smirk. 

Arrogant prick.

He hope her soulmate eats old ass meat. 

-

Considering the fact that he was smoking inside his car and tasting green apples, he was going to take a guess that his soulmate was like, being an asshole during class or is at lunch. Probably the latter. Rest in peace dude, your apple tastes like nicotine now. 

He really wouldn’t hold it against the kid to despise him.

-

It’s weird tasting anxiety meds everyday, but Connor got used to it. He figures that his soulmate probably has a lot of issues, which was  _ bad _ , but if the teenager was being completely honest, he was kind of glad that they could relate on like, something.

Did that make him a bad person? Probably, but who cared.

-

“I’m pretty sure I’m  _ not _ supposed to be tasting like, blood or something, so I’m just hoping that they just chew their lips a lot to the point where they bleed, and they just accidentally bit their cheek,” Connor said, resting his chin in his hand. Back at it again with the soulmate stuff in AP Lang. 

Huffing, Alana rested her forehead on her desk. “Connor, I know we have literally  _ nothing _ to do in this class, but you do this  _ every _ day. If you’re really concerned why don’t you look for them?”

“Because they have freaking anxiety.” He furrowed his brow. “I think so, anyways. Point is, they take pills for something, and chances are it’s most likely depression or anxiety. But I could be wrong,” he mumbled, looking up at the ceiling.

“Okay, well, they eat apples like, all the time, right? During lunch too? Look for someone eating an apple, and then just start chewing gum.” Leaning over to the side, she unzipped a pocket of her backpack, pulling out a pack of spearmint gum, before handing a couple sticks to the stoner. “Here. Now,  _ please _ don’t talk to me about your soulmate anymore until you figure out who it is.”

-

Connor didn’t see anyone eating apples at lunch, so he just chewed the gum in disappointment by a trash can.

-

Fuck Cynthia for making him go to school. He already said he was going to go tomorrow, but no, apparently the first day of senior year was  _ special _ for some ungodly reason. Whatever.

-

He remembered tasting oatmeal. It felt weird on his lips, but the weight of the single pill on his tongue felt like a hundred pounds.

Connor stared at the tree across from him, narrowing his eyes slightly. He already swallowed the pill, but honestly, he was pretty damn sick of it. It was the first time he decided to pop pills, but the other idea that popped up seemed like a good idea, considering everything.

A small, twisted part of him wanted to give his soulmate a taste of his own medicine. Make him taste the pills.

God, they always tasted so disgusting.

-

The attempt at the beginning of the year was a bad idea, considering the fact that he no longer has a fucking door.

It’s already been like, three months, he was trustworthy, come on.

-

“Who the fuck is at the door!?” Connor yelled, turning the page of his book. He already read it, but  _ The Picture of Dorian Grey _ was a personal favorite of his.

“Don’t worry about it, asshole!” Zoe shouted back. Connor tuned out the sound of her running downstairs to let whoever was at the door in. 

Grabbing his earbuds, he started listening to some of his music.

-

Turns out Evan Hansen was the supposed mystery dude that was at the door, and he was here for some reason or another. Connor had no clue, but the kid was a nervous freaking wreck, and it didn’t help that he was staying for dinner. Also, the blonde was like, highkey about to just cry in the bathroom, so. 

That was a thing.

-

Cynthia made vegetarian lasagna. 

Rolling his eyes, Connor decided to make something else, something a hell of a lot smaller. He hated what Cynthia made at the moment, so he just made some post, slapped some peanut butter and honey on it, and called it dinner.

The family was okay with it, and he knew Cynthia took no offense to it. As long as he hate, she was satisfied. 

-

“This-this is really good, Ms. Murphy, thank you,” Evan mumbled, taking a larger bite out of his meal.

Connor frowned, narrowing his eyes at Evan. He knew he looked like a huge prick just watching the dude eat, and  _ maybe _ the kid thought he was about to murder him, but this was important. 

Slowly raising his “meal” up to his lips, he took a large bite, making sure to keep staring at him. 

‘Cause lord  _ knows _ that no one could make shit lasagna that tastes exactly like Cynthia’s on the exact same night, at the  _ exact same time _ .

He watched as Evan jumped and immediately stare at Connor with wide, blue eyes. “Oh- _oh my god_ _what the heck-heck.”_

“Evan? Is everything okay?” Larry asked, looking up at the boy. The older man took a sip of his water, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. 

“I-I um, I don’t think, uh, I think maybe uh, um, I should um, go, oh my god, I’m so sorry, thank you for the meal Ms. Murthy, is was a uhm great time  _ really _ , I enjoyed your lasagna, Connor can I talk to you privately?” The blonde rushed out, cheeks slightly flushed. 

Shrugging his shoulders, he placed his sandwich back on his plate before standing up. He winked at Zoe before making his way out of the kitchen, Evan following before him.

-

And then they were standing outside the front door, with Connor leaning against the door, and Evan sitting on the front steps. Or whatever they were called. 

“Soulmates,” Evan mumbled, glancing up at Connor. “We’re  _ soulmates _ .” He tugged at his blonde hair. “Oh my god.”

“Mhm.” Connor pulled at his ponytail for a moment, before putting it up in a bun. “You have the worst taste in food by the way, fuck you for that. It’s so plain, like, I know how shitty it is to have to taste weed and cigarettes all the time, but I’d rather have that than freaking cup ramen all the time.”

Evan chuckled as he covered his mouth. “You- you have no idea who sucky it is,” he grinned, shaking his head.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said I wasn't writing anymore deh stuff, but this is for a friend so it was worth it, leave me alone. Anyways read my other stuff and comment I crave validation


End file.
